Thank you to everyone who read part one and welcome to part two. As promised this blog will continue with lessons learned from challenges faced, and opportunities that have followed. I will uncover personal development programmes, perceptions and priorities for mental health. There are a number of links to great work so get ready for a full line of open tabs! 

One of those lessons looked at how we perceive stress. We are at times a glutton for punishment and enjoy telling others how stressed we are (which I have been guilty of). To this problem we were posed with the statement;

“Where the focus goes the energy flows.”

 

Well-being and work/life balance are key components in stress management. The ability to expend energy, recharge and de-stress before expending further effort is challenging. I was very good at spending energy and previously had put job satisfaction and achievements down to the amount of energy spent instead of recognising the influence other factors had on success. There are other prerequisites to success- once you learn the skills necessary to perform your job you can start to recognise your own talents and skills which have a greater influence than we like to admit… 

This is where I introduce the first game changer, the incredible Briony Mackenzie. Briony has her own personal coaching business – Untapped. She is based in New Zealand but reaches clients far and wide due to her ingenious online business model. She challenges the norm and takes on the role of the mentor you never knew you needed! 

On completing an eight week transformational personal development and mindset course, I was able to define more clearly the positive aspects of my work and life and areas which were holding me back. Big learning happened a few weeks into the course when we were asked to interview 3 people in our life and identify our key strengths and weaknesses. We uncovered the ugly truths of our personalities, limiting beiliefs and positive ways to become better leaders. With Briony’s skills and experience we looked at how to live purposfully and how to create goals in line with personal values.

Briony was such an inspiration as a coach, having left her full time profession as a lawyer to pursue her passion of helping others through personal development. Briony has helped me and so many individuals reach higher levels of awareness and insight, at 24 she has also led the way as a young entrepreneur. She has reached out to a broad spectrum of audiences, coached individuals, groups and challenges the norm of employment in modern society. From designing her own website to challenging us to reach our professional and personal potential she epitomises courage and creativity. Thank you, you will never know the power of your actions as they are so far reaching and bigger than all of us!

So what led to the decision to embark on an 8 week personal development course when life and work in NZ seemed to be in balance, and I had left behind stress caused earlier in the year…?

Every cloud really does have a silver lining and with each challenge comes an opportunity… I found a course in Melbourne that would  challenge my understanding of health, self perception and ignite my interest in self development. Joining a diverse group of people we were guided through a level 1 Reiki qualification.

Reiki is an ancient Japanese method of healing used on the self and others to cultivate and channel energy.

This 2 day course was led by Lee from Sacred not Scared. She was a very knowledgeable and intuitive leader with incredible insight and power to tap into energy. Lee like Briony, left her corporate job, along with a six figure salary to embark on her own venture – starting up her own business and helping to heal with her incredible abilities.

The course was much more than learning about an ancient art, as it highlighted the importance of prioritising your own health and the impact it has on those around you. We normally wait until we feel truly awful to ask for help or wait for someone to reach out. Just like signing up to a personal trainer to maintain or improve physical fitness, we need to do the same for our mental and emotional health. The development of a healthy mind starts with adopting healthy habits to live by.

Using this new found knowledge of working on the mind in the same way I did my body I tried something totally new…meditation!

When I thought of meditating, like many people – a picture of a Buddha dressed in orange, floating with crossed legs popped into my head…after trying it for 10 mins over 10 consecutive days, I was proven  very wrong! I use the app Headspace usually in the morning for guided meditation before work. This was the first time I had attempted such a routine based on non-physical workout and I would not be able to see the external gains in a tangible form by looking in the mirror.

I will not lie it is very difficult to meditate at the beginning and I was so easily distracted  and more often than not fell asleep! I learned that meditation can bring any residual tiredness to the surface making it hard to stay awake. After 2-3 weeks of meditation sleep apnea I started to notice a change in attention span and ability to control elements of my thoughts. This is just the beginning of finding the benefits and now 18 months in have learned we cannot be perfect when it comes to managing our thoughts, and shouldn’t have the expectation to ever completely control everything in our mind.

Taking time to switch off and be mindful can seem easy to understand as a concept but harder to put into practice. Technology can hinder us in rest, but as seen with meditation it also can help. The Forest App once activated will display an image of a seed so long as you don’t touch your screen – it will grow into a tree. It can promote good habits for screen use, becoming present and making the most of your down time.

Now all of these techniques and courses are very good at growing awareness and mindfulness. And as you can suspect there is a ‘but’ coming…they cannot fully treat an issue at the core, but can ease symptoms of certain niggling thoughts and feelings.

I am quoting a very talented and forward thinking lady from closer to home, Miss Kirsy Giles an experienced and qualified Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. She advocates treating issues at the source through world leading techniques and has had success in many areas of her career.

Kirsty provided me with valuable advice as mentioned in the M word. She helped uncover the root of stress and changes in mental health; from this experience I learned that I had let stress rule me, my thoughts and experiences. If you do feel this way – you are not alone (make contact with someone or click the link below) and to justify our feelings often find ourselves saying;

“I’m fine” or,

“There are people worse off than me!”.

There are a number of people who will find that mental health to them is something they think about but dont act upon. Others recognise and maintain their physical and mental health through a range of healthy rituals. And for some –  life can be dictated by mental health, and the constant struggle to maintain control can become exhausting. This is where the influence of professionally trained individuals can make a significant difference through interventions to reach positive solutions.

Again, if you are reading this and feel you need a helping hand or want to help someone you know. Speak to someone you trust, reach out, offer support. That may be a phone call with someone like Kirsty or another professional too see what options suit you or your situation best. There is no shame in asking for help as it is always ok not to be ok! Choose an option that will work for you as there is a range of professional therapies. Just as you would seek help for a broken bone, have someone help you if you are just not feeling yourself and you never know it may help you in many areas of your life.

If you have received support in the past, reach out to show others that isolation damages health further, and working through tough times with professional help and support is an investment now and for the future. Take time to find out how your family really are and have open and honest conversations about your physical and mental health. One small step, such as a message to someone to show or ask for support can be the boost needed. Dont wait, now is the time to show genuine acts of courage, I did and others are reaching out because I took the first step to greater acceptance!

I want to thank you once again for taking the time to read this blog piece and many others. The support for each topic has been overwhelming and I feel very lucky to share my learnings on this platform. If anyone wants to get in touch please feel free to message, I really love hearing all forms of feedback.

Peace Hayley