It really has been a while since my last blog post and I can only apologise and say that like many of us I have been caught up – “adulting“. It’s not right that we put our passions on hold to fulfill ‘mundane but necessary tasks‘ but here I am 5 months down the line since my last blog piece!

“Adulting“- a challenging part of getting older. Our responsibilities increase, our time lessens and our ability to see ourselves turning into our parents becomes ever closer.

If only I knew…

No one tells you at school how to work out your credit score, apply for a mortgage (who knew you spell it with a ‘t’!), how to budget, manage your time or what ISA to put your savings into. Now, having attempted to teach the young minds of today all of the above and more through Leadership – I can say it makes some sense but it’s not until you are actually paying bills yourself, do you appreciate the true value in these lessons.

There is however a place for this type of life management to be passed on during Further Education, work place training and apprenticeship programmes. To anyone out there with the ‘know-how‘ to make it happen- I highly recommend this type of education during the first few years of financial independence for young people. I know many of us would have stepped into adult life much better informed had we gone through scenario based learning based through real-life contexts.

I am writing this shortly after my 29th birthday and feel that there are times when a little education about how best to manage life tasks would have come in handy. It shouldn’t have taken me until now to work out that a Lifetime Cash ISA is a much better savings option than the ‘Help to Buy ISA’ offered by my bank! In case anyone is skeptical (as I would be reading this) I am not doing a PR stunt for cash ISAs – I just think this is important to know, and purely stumbled upon this information through MoneySavingExpert.com.

The expectation of ‘having it all figured out’ culminates at the end of your 20’s and I happen to know a number of people who feel that their shit couldn’t be any less together! You are supposed to know where your career is going, who you should be with and what type of house to buy and plan for retirement.

By the time I get to retirement I want to have enough energy to enjoy it! If we are constantly chasing the next rung on the ladder, the next investment or house complete with white picket fence we will forget to enjoy the little things in life, which give us peace and contentment.

What is Success ?

I cannot say that returning from a round the world trip was easy. Reaching a lifetime goal of travelling meant that I felt that we had to hit fast-forward button once back home. The temptation was strong and overwhelming at times! It is totally unintentional but you cannot help feel that the race is on. You can get caught feeling that success is judged on the number of hours worked and how far up the ladder you reach.

Living in New Zealand meant that success came in the form of; family time, sport & recreation, physical challenge and time to socialise and switch off. When there is very little competition to achieve, move and progress you have more guilt-free time to do the things you enjoy. I now have a conflicting feeling of what truly equates ‘success’ and how to best maintain priorities within a society which values productivity for commercial gain, rater than hours spent with loved ones for mental and emotional gain.

Our mental health is significantly determined by the strength of our relationships and connections. If we as a nation, are to judge our loved ones on their ability to achieve work goals rather than how well they listen to our stories we are setting ourselves up for a rough ride.

Important Connections.

Working in education with children who are already suffering from a lack of human connection due to parents working all of the hours god gives them, I can see the direct negative impact on young peoples’ well-being. Many of the children I work with long a hug or reassurance from the adults in their lives. They may not get the physical nurture the so gravely seek, but we certainly spend a good amount of time dealing with the emotional and mental repercussions of absent parents.

When we neglect our relationships in favour of work, more money or a promotion, we may starve our loved ones of an area of health that cannot be topped up later in life.  We cannot go back and fill up the void caused by the absence. We as humans require a set amount of nurture and presence from our key relationships in order to thrive and become strong and resilient adults.

Do not get caught ‘adulting’ so much that you forget to follow your passions – especially the ones that take you back to your childhood. Indulging in activities which take you back to positive childhood memories releases feel-good hormones into your bloodstream boosting your immune system.

It’s all Linked…

When we neglect ourselves of healthy activities we allow cortisol (stress hormone) to pump around our body. As seen in this BBC Article stress and trauma can be passed on through our DNA – explained through what is known as, ‘Epigenetics’. Therefore we must do all that we can to address what health we do have, and question; ‘how do we do that exactly..?’

The part of your health (physical, mental, emotional or social) that fills you with the most fear, makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable…is the one which requires attention now! The most confronting part, is that the answer is usually – “mental or emotional” health.

How do I know this?

I know this based on my experiences- leading sessions with a number of people from a range of backgrounds, and also because the area that scares me most is my stress/anxiety levels when I am busy and acting out of character. I am taking a leap to challenge myself, address at the core what I feel holds me back and share my story with you through – CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).

Creating change and a community.

 

I am very passionate about sharing my experience as it may just help one person on their own journey who feels just as fearful – but I’m here to pass it forwards. I hope to answer questions people may have, bust stigma and common misconceptions about help that is out there. I see CBT as a way of strengthening my mind in the same way you would employ a Personal Trainer to improve physical health.

By committing to something that scares you and pushes the comfort zone further you can adult, achieve and define what success means to you regardless of expectation and outside pressure. I am a firm believer in Personal Leadership to better serve those around you- if you truly know yourself. your strengths and more importantly your weaknesses then you will live genuinely and with real purpose.

Thank you once again for taking time to read my words. I am always humbled by the comments and connections made though this blog which is becoming a true source of inspiration in my own life and the lives of others. If you wish to find out more, attend events – join my Community Organisation; ‘Intuitive Design Sessions’ on Facebook or Instagram.

 

Lead On,

HB